At this time of year many people are imagining what they would like to create in 2014. Often this also surfaces our fears to create what we want. Imagine this is a good thing as your fear is letting you know there are some things that you need to do to create what you want!
Imagine your fear is there to tell you something like "create some safety for me ".
Only you will know what you need to feel safe.
Ask your fear what it needs to feel safe.
Some of it will be how you think about yourself, some of it will be what actions and strategies you develop and some of it will be about creating and finding a safe feeling inside your body. Sensing your fear and learning how your fear is protecting you is essential for our well being.
People think fear has to be overcome and to rid ourselves of fear. I believe that this is a myth. I want fear to surface as soon as it senses a lack of safety so that I can do what I need to create my own safety psychologically, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
When checking in with our fears we need to check in whether our fears are "real" or whether we have "made them up".
If they are real like being physically unsafe we need to make ourselves safe by moving to safety.
If emotionally unsafe as someone is berating us we can learn to create emotional safety by standing up for our selves and creating boundaries of self respect.
If psychologically unsafe as we are being under-mined by some-body or being made “crazy” by manipulative behaviour from another we can create boundaries for our psychological safety and if necessary move away from people who are controlling.
Have you ever walked into a place and “felt” the energy is “bad”? perhaps it was in the location or perhaps the ‘bad” energy is being emitted from a person. If you sense something that you can not understand learn to “trust” your senses and move into a place and with people where you do feel the energy of love and trust.
If we do not act with resilience and let our fear take hold of our emotional, psychological and spiritual state we limit ourselves to a way of being in the world that is unsafe.
This is debilitating.
Being with our fear is a continuous iterative process of noticing it, creating safety, being safe, noticing feeling unsafe, creating safety again and again.
We can learn a lot from animals and how they respond to fear and how they create safety. Have you ever seen a horse in a field relaxed and eating grass? Did you notice when something happens, perhaps a noise or a movement that is not familiar, the horse becomes alert, stops grazing, pricks up it’s ears, heightens its’ senses and checks if there is a threat or it is safe. If it is safe the horse will relax and go back to grazing. If the horse senses a threat they will move to safety and so will all the herd. If the horse is in a corner or unable to escape they may attack either with its’ hooves whilst rearing on its’ hind legs or biting. When the horse is safe again it will resume a restful state.
I believe we are still in kindergarten as far as connecting with our emotions and understanding the messages from them. Many people have dis-connected or disassociated from their bodies and their emotions and so do not have a sense of what there is to learn from them.
When we ignore our fears or allow ourselves to become de-sensitised to them they amplify. This can either lead to a loss of freedom created by ourselves, paralysis in the form of depression, or we limit ourselves when making choices and taking actions.
In listening to our fears we can:
Create the freedom in life to do anything we want to do
Be able to make powerful choices
Create physical, emotional, financial, psychological and spiritual safety
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What fear has surfaced for you in creating your vision for 2014? Leave your comment below.