A Missing Ingredient in the Recipe for Success
Without creating trust, we feel caught out if we share ourselves and are then intimidated.
If we don't sense trust in our selves, we hold back from being the fullest expression of ourselves in life,
If we trust someone else and they exploit us, unless we have trust in ourselves we may not know how to stand up for self respect.
Without trust in yourself we may yearn for what we want in our life without knowing how to take actions to live the life of our dreams. We create limitations for ourselves. Then it is easy to blame others when we can not create what we want in life.
Trust in Authority Figures
We used to put our trust in others, in authority figures like; the church, teachers, the police, government, but today more than ever our trust in these people has eroded.
When we trusted those authority figures in society we did not have to focus as much as developing our own sense of safety and trust.
The structures and hierarchies took care of that for us. "They" would provide it for us. Whoever they is? An employer who we thought we could trust to provide us with employment for our lifetime, or a teacher who thought we could trust with our safety, or a financial institution that we thought we could trust with our money.
But there have been many examples over the years of those authority figures not doing the "right" thing. This week alone the media coverage in Australia on exploitation of migrant workers literally means that we still have slave labour in "developed" countries whilst pretending we don't. Of course the people treated as slaves and paid under award wages and under award conditions, are put in a paralysing position of being too frightened to leave and live in fear while staying in inhumane work conditions. It only took one to have the courage and say no, and begin the leakages to the media to bring this to the attention of government officials and the public.
It takes TRUST and COURAGE in our own self belief that something is not "right".
Fortunately, we are all not victims of exploitation as our society overall is ethical and respectful to all. But, we still have a lot of work to do. Most people are ethical and do the "right" thing, but on a whole there is a dwindling of trust in society, and in the structures that gave us trust in the past.
Perhaps we had expectations that jobs would last forever and realise that is unrealistic now. An organisation can be here to day and gone tomorrow.
So what does this mean for ourselves?
The answer is simple really.
We need to learn to trust ourselves.
We need to learn to create trust and safety.
We need to sense when we are in a safe situation or when we are in a threatening one.
We need to be able to create safety for ourselves.
And in all ways...
Psychological safety Emotional safety Physical safety Financial safety Relational safety
The more we create safety for ourselves, the more we can trust ourselves.
The more we trust ourselves the more conviction we have to live according to our beliefs, and let others do the same.
The more conviction, the more courage to take the actions that we need to take to live our truth.
When we have an acute sense of trust, we can learn to sense who to trust and who not to trust.
We have the freedom to choose not to work in organisations or associate with people who we can not trust and they intimidate or threaten us in some way.
We have the freedom to join tribes of people who we trust and enable us to be our true ourselves.
There have been times in my life when I have trusted myself and taken risks to have success in achieving the work and life that gives me energy and fulfilment.
From risking starting my own business when I wanted the flexibility to care for children years ago; to trusting I would be OK to leave my business and care for my Mother; to trusting my need to take an "Eat Pray Love" sabbatical and then more recently to trust myself and return again to re-create a business.
There have been times in my life when I have been intimidated and lost trust with myself. Fortunately I have had the capacity to re-create that trust and belief in myself. I know from experience the more I trust myself the more confident I am.
I was sharing with a group of Thought Leaders on the week-end about how I trust myself;
the more I believe in myself
the more conviction I have
the more courage I have to take risks
the more my voice is powerful in speaking up for what I believe is true for me
the more my body has a vitality of energy that makes me feel great to be alive
the more I have a velocity of impact in creating what I want in my life
Have you found this too?
Do you consciously do something to create trust with yourself? with others? Perhaps just a little.
I invite you take on a challenge?
1 Write down your strongest beliefs?
2 Be honest and give yourself a pat on the back for how you are living those beliefs?
3 Tick the ones that you are not really doing or being as there is something in the way.
4 Ask yourself what do you need to do, live one of those things that you are currently not doing.
Trust yourself and have the courage to live your truth. For ourselves and others.
To you believing in yourself